I was at dinner tonight with some amazing ladies, all whom I look up to and cherish as friends. As our conversation went, we talked about life, school, kids, jobs, etc, etc. By the end of the night, a few of us were chatting about our husbands, how different they are, yet how much we love them and feel blessed to have found our special someone. It was such a sweet conversation...and as most of you know, well, Ted is perfect. He is! I mean, I don't expect him to be perfect, but he is. PERFECT FOR ME. And that's what makes him perfect.
Now, I'm not saying he can do no wrong, and that there are times when we really don't see eye to eye, but that's the beauty of it. He has opened a whole new world to me, one I couldn't have seen without his eyes. And I had to be willing to open my eyes. He's shown me that the road home doesn't always have to be the same. We can turn down a different street, and who knows, it might just turn out to be even better, or more beautiful.
Wow...really just went off on a tangent...back to my dang good wife thing...
Well, as we were talking, I said, "I'm a dang good wife". And I am!
It's funny, because I saw the women who heard me tense their muscles...like, "Oh, no, she's crazy." Or, "Umm...who says that?" Or, "What?"
One of my friends spoke up and agreed with me. She said, "You're right. You are a good wife. You cook, you clean.." And she listed a few things, which I do, but as I was nodding along with her, she said she's not the best wife, because she doesn't cook, because she doesn't feel like she's a good cook, and at that moment, I felt something shift inside me. Because I saw myself in her. I remember when I didn't cook, and felt like I was falling short, because I wasn't fulfilling my "expected" list of wifely duties that we all have for ourselves. They are probably all different, depending on background, culture, and family circumstance, but we have them!
And that got me thinking...not always a good thing...but I had to sit down and really ask myself, "Do those things that my friend listed make me a good wife? What makes other women think they aren't good wives? And why do I think I'm a good wife now? What changed?"
My answer to the first question was: Yes and No. Just because I cook, clean, do laundry, does not make me a good wife. It helps, and makes life run smoother for our family, and since my love language is acts of service, it really works for me, but it isn't the list of things that make me a good wife. I mean, any person can do those things. It's just a list. But, what really makes the difference?
Love. Love is what makes the difference. Doing those things out of love. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
I see myself as a dang good wife because, I love my husband, and I treat him, our family, our house, and all we have accordingly. I love him! I love him so much! And because I love him, I see him as perfect. I don't criticize the things he doesn't do, that I wish he would. I praise the things he does do. And a beautiful thing happens: he becomes a better person, and wants to step up and be the best husband and father he can be. That's how it works. The formula is super simple. The answer is clear. Just love each other unconditionally. With Christ like love.
And the thing that stunned me is: my friends are amazing wives and they just don't see it! I see that they love their husbands. They cherish them. I mean, we were just talking about how blessed we were with them in our lives! These women do so many things for their families. Kind, loving things. And that's what makes them: Dang Good Wives.
I wished I could explain these things in the moment, but my brain takes time to process. But I'm saying it now! I think we just need to give ourselves permission to accept the fact that we're good. We're doing well. Most people are doing the best they can with what they know or have been dealt in life.
Then another big epiphany happened...I realized that, as I put Christ and Heavenly Father first in my life, and live my life to make them happy, being happy is much easier. I'm able to feel love at a deeper level. See people around me with different eyes. Eyes that are softened by Christ's love. Instead of seeing flaws, I see the beautiful. And that's how God intended it to be.
If we all just took time to see the beautiful, life would be much more beautiful.
I challenge you to see the beautiful. Not only in yourself and your spouse, but your kids, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your family, your co-workers, any and every one you associate with. And instead of holding back compliments, let the compliments flow. Tell someone they look nice today. Compliment them on a nice deed. Share love and it will light up your life.
Next time you're sitting down and thinking about all the things you haven't gotten done, just think of all the things you have done. And each of you have done something, because if you're alive, you've taken a breath, and that required effort. You did it! Pat yourself on the back. Love yourself!
Know that being a good person comes from how you treat yourself, others, and what you share with the world around you.
Look in the mirror and love your reflection. Open that mouth of yours and tell someone you love them. Pray to Heavenly Father and thank Him for everything, since He has given it all to you.
Remember to see the good in the world, and that's what you'll become. Find joy in the little things, for life is made up of little things that culminate into our life story (which is a big thing).
Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect at these things. In fact, this is probably more for me than you...but I promise to work on the things I have written and I hope you do too. It will make our world a better place, and who doesn't want that? :)
Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: This is primarily for those who are married. If you're not, I still hope you'll take the simple principles and apply them to your life.
