This is our major storage area. Love how everything fits in so well!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Baby Room Photos
Here are the photos of the baby room. We just got the rest of our stuff today, and we were so excited that we had to put it all up and then take pictures. Enjoy!
My Petunia Pickle Bottom Bag...LOVE, and can't wait to use!
The crib bedding. We found this 13 piece set at Overstock.com for only $115.
Our diaper bags with the stroller.
My rocking chair. It has been in my family for a long time, and has always been in my room, since I was a baby. So excited to keep it in the family, and use it for the next generation.
Crib, the dresser and changing station.
Bookshelf, cradle, and crib.
Ted getting ready for our baby. Too cute!
This is our major storage area. Love how everything fits in so well!
Ted's DadGear Bag. It is pretty darn awesome!
Got the closet all organized. Since we only have two bedrooms, we really had to organize all our extra stuff in the house (those are the baskets above the clothes). It always feels so good to get everything cleaned up, and this was a big project since the baby room had become the "catch all" room. We are still using it as the office/Ted's vinyl room, but at least everything fits.
Me with all the baby stuff. Can't wait for our little guy to get here.
The car seat and stroller.
Our nice, expensive BOB stroller. I keep walking around the house with it...ha ha.
Some essentials, clothes, and games.
The Chicco car seat. Love the color!
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little "slideshow" into our baby lives. As you can see, we sure are getting ready! My mom told me not to buy anything else, because she wants to be able to get us things. Ha ha...even though it looks like we have a lot, we still have quite a few things to get before we are ready. So, we will wait until after the baby showers (if we have them), to see if we need any other things. Only three more months and our little guy will be here! Yippee!
This is our major storage area. Love how everything fits in so well!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Purge
This post is going to me purging my feelings for a few moments. So, don't feel obligated to read, as it is more of a personal thing than any real informative comments.
First of all, I just must say that I LOVE BEING PREGNANT!
Okay, the first trimester sucked, literally. Being sick all day, throwing everything up, and the smells...yuck. I don't ever want to see Saltine Crackers again! Saltines or Sprite for that matter. But, after that was over, the blissful second trimester started.
I must confess, I was a little skeptical when people told me it was the best stage of pregnancy. I couldn't imagine how gaining weight would be enjoyable. I'd heard tons of horror stories about back aches, varicose veins, stretch marks, food cravings, having to pee all the time, being exhausted...and the list goes on and on. I was petrified to pass the three month mark. Thankfully, I have been extremely blessed in the second trimester (I like to think it is because the first trimester was living hell), and God has given me a break before the third trimester gets here.
I love getting a belly! It is the greatest thing ever! And, I love getting those extra three hundred calories every day. I have felt tons of energy, doing a pregnancy workout DVD every other day, and taking half hour walks with my mom's dog, Baxter. Even the household chores haven't been bad. Yes, I am still way sensitive to smells, but Ted showers twice a day, and the house is clean, so smells aren't a problem (thank goodness). And, Idaho has much better smelling water than Hawaii (just fyi).
Another thing I love about the second trimester, I have graduated into pregnancy jeans, and oh how I love them! I used to think they would feel weird and I wouldn't wear them much, but the stretchy band that pulls all the way up past my belly button is one of the greatest inventions ever! I no longer have a muffin top to worry about! And, the jeans not only fit my waist, they fit my legs too! I am in heaven with my pregnancy jeans. I wear them every day. I wish someone would invent regular jeans with the pregnancy jean fit, because I would buy every style!
Another thing I love about this second trimester is baby shopping. Wow! I don't know how many moms out there just love to shop for their kids, but my little guy isn't even here yet, and already, I am a baby shopping addict! Baby clothes and accessories are so much better than adults. And, the adorable blankets, nursery sets, strollers, car seats, diaper bags...I could go on all day, but I love to shop for baby stuff. I am so lucky, because Ted is a great sport about me buying everything. Ha ha.
Funny story, about a week ago (last Tuesday) I had a little meltdown, because I had been looking at tons of baby things online, but hadn't bought a single thing, because I wanted Ted to be part of it. Since Ted is super busy all the time (which I don't know how it happens, because neither one of us are employed, but we hardly ever have time together). Well, he is busy working on his website for Sounds of Sunday 24/7, or he is teaching seminary, or going to classes and meetings, or snowboarding...anyway, we hadn't had time to sit down and get into the baby stuff together. So, I sat him down right before bedtime, (because that is a great time to get his attention, right before he passes out...not), and vented about how I felt so unprepared for a baby, and I was stressed out about not having anything ready for him to get here. So, Ted, being the kick back guy he is, told me not to worry, that by the weekend, we could have everything purchased and ready for our little guy. Me, being skeptical, decided to take him up on his proposition, just to see if he could do it.
The next day (Wednesday), Ted was teaching at Hillcrest High School in Idaho Falls. So, I decided to go with him (since it was only a half-day teaching), and then go shopping afterward. To my surprise, we hit up three stores, and got a ton of stuff!
Our first stop was the furniture store, just to see if they had any discounted dressers. They did, but they all looked like they'd been through a WWII firing squad. Not pleased with the dressers, we perused the store for other deals. We found some pretty awesome decorations, on sale. They are patriotic, which is great, because our little guy will be here around the end of June, beginning of July. The decorations also have a kind of old farm-house/cottage feel, which is perfect for our little home. So, we got them. They look awesome with the baby room paint (bonus).
While I was purchasing the decorations, Ted went to the bathroom, and stumbled upon some reclaimed wood furniture in the next store over. Most people don't know this, but we love earthy, wood, metal, reclaimed furnishings, and when he spotted these ones, it was like a dream come true. Needless to say, we bought a huge armour and dresser. Good thing was, they were fifty percent off the original price because they were getting discontinued. Score! Now we have the furnishings checked off our list. My mom is supplying us with the crib, which is so cool, because it is my old crib and doesn't have that manufactured look to it. It fits in with our antique furnishings. Weird thing, we are getting all this antique stuff for a new baby. Ha ha...hope he likes it!
Our next stop was going to be the mall. I had heard Gymboree had the cutest clothes. But, as we pulled into the mall parking lot, Ted suggested we go to Ross first, just to see what they had. Well, Ross turned out to be a gold mine for baby clothes! We got tons of clothes (a whole cart full), for about half to seventy five percent off the original price! And, they are all brand name, new clothes. We were shocked at the deals we found, and had a blast.
When we went to check out, it took two checkout clerks to untag our items, and people kept laughing at all the stuff we had. Ted kept telling everyone we just found out we were pregnant, and we were expecting octuplets. It was hilarious to see the looks on their faces. I had to play along, because it was just too funny. People can be so gullible. In the end, Ted told them the truth, that we were expecting only one boy, and we were going to spoil him.
After all that shopping, Ted and I were exhausted, so we called it a night.
But, the next day, Thursday, we had a tax appointment in town with our accountant, and a free afternoon after that. So, once the appointment was over, we headed to Wal-Mart, and stashed up on the essentials. It took forever, because neither me, nor Ted, had been baby shopping before. We stood and looked at the baby section, wondering what was needed and what wasn't. It took us about three hours before we decided we'd gotten the basics.
The best purchase: Ted found a diaper trash can that seals the diapers upon disposing of them. He is very understanding of my sensitive sniffer. I am so glad I married him. We also got a variety of the smallest packs of diapers, because I hear every baby is shaped differently, and you need to experiment to see which diaper works best for them. Yes, I know, impractical, but what else were we supposed to do? I wish they had samples of each with just one of two diapers in each sample. That way, we could try them out and see which one works. Maybe there are samples out there...idk...we didn't find them in Wal-Mart.
After checking out Wal-Mart's strollers and car seats (and being thoroughly unimpressed), we decided to take our shopping to the Internet. Reading reviews, checking out prices, and durability became Ted's biggest aim. He researched for hours. Originally, we thought about purchasing a Jeep stroller with the three wheels for better stability and mobility. Adam bought Morgan one, and she loves it, so we thought it would be good. But, it had mixed reviews.
After reading about a hundred different comments, we decided to check out the BOB strollers. If any of you are familiar with BOB products, there is huge sticker shock. We about lost it when we saw a stroller for five hundred dollars compared to the hundred to two hundred dollar ones we'd been looking at. We decided to watch the promotional videos on BOB strollers, to see what made them so special, and pricey.
After the first one, we were getting a little more open-minded. By the second or third, I was sold. By the fourth, Ted decided to research BOB as his new stroller of choice. All I can say is, wow! Their reviews were awesome! We were so impressed by what people had said that we kept reading and researching. I even got onto BabyCenter (my pregnant bible), and saw what they recommended. BOB strollers was one of the highest ranking for all areas. So, Ted, being the incredible husband he is, and wanting to get the best for his wife and baby, purchased a BOB stroller in burnt orange, along with one of the highest ranking car seats of Chicco (also in burnt orange) to go with it. A little surprise was, he got a DadGear bag in burnt orange to match the car seat and stroller for when he has the little guy. Too cute!
Once that purchase was finalized, we went onto nursery sets. Overstock.com has awesome deals, and we found the cutest farm one that matches our decor perfectly. With that purchase finished, all we had was a diaper bag for me.
Now, I don't know about anyone else, but for me, I think of a diaper bag as my new purse, and I would like it to be a fashion forward as well as practical. I had seen tons of cute diaper bags from working at DownEast, but couldn't remember the name of my favorite. Thanks to my friend Jacqueline, who worked with me at DownEast and has impeccable taste, I found out the name of the company whose diaper bags I loved the most. Petunia Pickle Bottom bags are adorable! So, I got online and started shopping. I loved every design and style, but ended up with one that looked like the most bang for the buck, and wasn't massive (as some diaper bags can be). Ted had an influence on the color, and it ended up being orange flowers with grey and white. It is super cute...I got it today in the mail, and am even more pleased with it in person.
All we are waiting for is the dresser (which is on back order), and the nursery set. Once the room is put together, I will post pictures. We already have the stroller and car seat put together (we got those yesterday). They look amazing. Yes, I have already tracked around the house a couple times trying out my expensive stroller, and I must say, it is worth every penny! It is sturdy, easy to use, maneuverable, and super easy to collapse. As everything gets here, I keep getting more and more excited for our little man to come into the world.
At twenty five weeks, I only have about a week before I got into the sixth month. I am so grateful and happy to have the opportunity to be a mom. And, even though going on a spending spree for baby things is super fun and exciting, I am most excited about having a precious spirit enter our lives. I feel so blessed to be trusted with one of Heavenly Father's children.
Last Friday, Ted and I went to the play, Saturday's Warriors, in Pocatello. We went in, not expecting a lot, but came away being impressed and blown away by the message and talent. It was wonderful to hear all about family, and every time the little girl in the show sang, "Who are these children coming down?" Ted would start crying. It was too cute! We are so excited to have a family, and can't wait to bring down many choice spirits into our home. We pray the Lord will bless us with several kids, not just one of two. Big families are hard to have in these times, but it would be an honor and blessing. We have so much love to share, and what better way than being a parent.
Well, I think I have purged myself. Of course, I could probably go on a lot longer, but these are just some of the things going on right now. I am so happy and very impressed that Ted was able to do as he said, and get everything ready for the baby by last weekend. He never ceases to amaze me.
I feel so loved and abundantly blessed by our Heavenly Father. He has truly given me more than I could ever imagine or wish for in life. I feel extremely blessed to have Ted as my husband, my partner, my best friend, and companion. I got so lucky to have him in my life. I know a lot of people tell him he is lucky to have me, but I think it is the other way around. I am so glad I was born into my family. I love my ancestors, grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, and all my nieces and nephews so much! They are all special to me. I am very blessed to have wonderful in-laws as well. I remember when I first got married, everyone would tell me horror stories about their in-laws (or out-laws). I have stories, but they are positive. I am very thankful for wonderful friends, who check on me regularly to make sure I am feeling okay, have everything I need, and just call to talk. All of you make life worth living.
Life can be as good or as miserable as you want it to be. It is all about perspective and seeing the positive, not the negative.
Yesterday, I was feeling a little down after breakfast. Ted was at class, and I had just woken up from a bad dream night. I decided that right then and there I needed to change my attitude. So, I went around the house and looked at all the things I have been blessed with. Thanks to Ted, our home is full of things to make our lives better. I got some paper and began to write why I was thankful for Ted and what he has done for me. The objects in our home became reminders of experiences, memories, or cherished treasures Ted and I had brought or done together. The paper turned into one or two thankful sentences per object in the home. I cut out the sentences and taped them to the objects. It became like a treasure hunt (or Easter egg hunt, since it is close to Easter). I moved from room to room, and in each room there became more things I was thankful for. All in all, I came up with seventy two pieces of paper, just inside our little home. We only have six rooms in our house, and I came up with that many! If I had more time (I was in a hurry to get them done before Ted got home), I would've come up with more. But, they were little things, such as:
Thank you for being such a good sport about me choosing the paint colors. I'm sure it had to be a little nerve-wrecking, considering all the crazy colors I chose last time. (Taped to the wall).
Thank you for the wonderful, inspiring quotes that lift me up! (Taped to a quote he'd made me from his vinyl plotter).
Thank you for keeping the sink and shower clean, and free of hair. (Taped to the bathroom sink).
Thank you for being a little crazy with me in life. I love your adventurous personality. (Taped to a picture of us on a sailboat ride).
Thank you for helping me take out the trash and keeping our house clean. (Taped to the trash can).
Thank you for encouraging me to do the things I love and enjoy. I love how you never hold me back. You are always lifting and encouraging me to do more. Thanks for helping me fulfill my potential. (Taped to a cow-cutting picture).
These are so simple, but when he came home and had his own treasure hunt for my thankful words, each one meant a thousand times more than I anticipated. By the time he was done, he had tears in his eyes and said, "You really do love me, don't you?" Sometimes we think that each other knows how much we love them, but it never hurts to let the other person know. I mean, we tell each other several times a day how much we love the other person, and we show it too, by kind acts of service, spending time together, hugs and kisses, and gifts, but sometimes words are more powerful than all those things combined.
Well, I've said too much. It is time for me to get ready for a meeting. Hope everyone has had a great day, and if you've made it this far, you're amazing! I would've stopped reading a long time ago. Ha ha. Love you all!
:)
First of all, I just must say that I LOVE BEING PREGNANT!
Okay, the first trimester sucked, literally. Being sick all day, throwing everything up, and the smells...yuck. I don't ever want to see Saltine Crackers again! Saltines or Sprite for that matter. But, after that was over, the blissful second trimester started.
I must confess, I was a little skeptical when people told me it was the best stage of pregnancy. I couldn't imagine how gaining weight would be enjoyable. I'd heard tons of horror stories about back aches, varicose veins, stretch marks, food cravings, having to pee all the time, being exhausted...and the list goes on and on. I was petrified to pass the three month mark. Thankfully, I have been extremely blessed in the second trimester (I like to think it is because the first trimester was living hell), and God has given me a break before the third trimester gets here.
I love getting a belly! It is the greatest thing ever! And, I love getting those extra three hundred calories every day. I have felt tons of energy, doing a pregnancy workout DVD every other day, and taking half hour walks with my mom's dog, Baxter. Even the household chores haven't been bad. Yes, I am still way sensitive to smells, but Ted showers twice a day, and the house is clean, so smells aren't a problem (thank goodness). And, Idaho has much better smelling water than Hawaii (just fyi).
Another thing I love about the second trimester, I have graduated into pregnancy jeans, and oh how I love them! I used to think they would feel weird and I wouldn't wear them much, but the stretchy band that pulls all the way up past my belly button is one of the greatest inventions ever! I no longer have a muffin top to worry about! And, the jeans not only fit my waist, they fit my legs too! I am in heaven with my pregnancy jeans. I wear them every day. I wish someone would invent regular jeans with the pregnancy jean fit, because I would buy every style!
Another thing I love about this second trimester is baby shopping. Wow! I don't know how many moms out there just love to shop for their kids, but my little guy isn't even here yet, and already, I am a baby shopping addict! Baby clothes and accessories are so much better than adults. And, the adorable blankets, nursery sets, strollers, car seats, diaper bags...I could go on all day, but I love to shop for baby stuff. I am so lucky, because Ted is a great sport about me buying everything. Ha ha.
Funny story, about a week ago (last Tuesday) I had a little meltdown, because I had been looking at tons of baby things online, but hadn't bought a single thing, because I wanted Ted to be part of it. Since Ted is super busy all the time (which I don't know how it happens, because neither one of us are employed, but we hardly ever have time together). Well, he is busy working on his website for Sounds of Sunday 24/7, or he is teaching seminary, or going to classes and meetings, or snowboarding...anyway, we hadn't had time to sit down and get into the baby stuff together. So, I sat him down right before bedtime, (because that is a great time to get his attention, right before he passes out...not), and vented about how I felt so unprepared for a baby, and I was stressed out about not having anything ready for him to get here. So, Ted, being the kick back guy he is, told me not to worry, that by the weekend, we could have everything purchased and ready for our little guy. Me, being skeptical, decided to take him up on his proposition, just to see if he could do it.
The next day (Wednesday), Ted was teaching at Hillcrest High School in Idaho Falls. So, I decided to go with him (since it was only a half-day teaching), and then go shopping afterward. To my surprise, we hit up three stores, and got a ton of stuff!
Our first stop was the furniture store, just to see if they had any discounted dressers. They did, but they all looked like they'd been through a WWII firing squad. Not pleased with the dressers, we perused the store for other deals. We found some pretty awesome decorations, on sale. They are patriotic, which is great, because our little guy will be here around the end of June, beginning of July. The decorations also have a kind of old farm-house/cottage feel, which is perfect for our little home. So, we got them. They look awesome with the baby room paint (bonus).
While I was purchasing the decorations, Ted went to the bathroom, and stumbled upon some reclaimed wood furniture in the next store over. Most people don't know this, but we love earthy, wood, metal, reclaimed furnishings, and when he spotted these ones, it was like a dream come true. Needless to say, we bought a huge armour and dresser. Good thing was, they were fifty percent off the original price because they were getting discontinued. Score! Now we have the furnishings checked off our list. My mom is supplying us with the crib, which is so cool, because it is my old crib and doesn't have that manufactured look to it. It fits in with our antique furnishings. Weird thing, we are getting all this antique stuff for a new baby. Ha ha...hope he likes it!
Our next stop was going to be the mall. I had heard Gymboree had the cutest clothes. But, as we pulled into the mall parking lot, Ted suggested we go to Ross first, just to see what they had. Well, Ross turned out to be a gold mine for baby clothes! We got tons of clothes (a whole cart full), for about half to seventy five percent off the original price! And, they are all brand name, new clothes. We were shocked at the deals we found, and had a blast.
When we went to check out, it took two checkout clerks to untag our items, and people kept laughing at all the stuff we had. Ted kept telling everyone we just found out we were pregnant, and we were expecting octuplets. It was hilarious to see the looks on their faces. I had to play along, because it was just too funny. People can be so gullible. In the end, Ted told them the truth, that we were expecting only one boy, and we were going to spoil him.
After all that shopping, Ted and I were exhausted, so we called it a night.
But, the next day, Thursday, we had a tax appointment in town with our accountant, and a free afternoon after that. So, once the appointment was over, we headed to Wal-Mart, and stashed up on the essentials. It took forever, because neither me, nor Ted, had been baby shopping before. We stood and looked at the baby section, wondering what was needed and what wasn't. It took us about three hours before we decided we'd gotten the basics.
The best purchase: Ted found a diaper trash can that seals the diapers upon disposing of them. He is very understanding of my sensitive sniffer. I am so glad I married him. We also got a variety of the smallest packs of diapers, because I hear every baby is shaped differently, and you need to experiment to see which diaper works best for them. Yes, I know, impractical, but what else were we supposed to do? I wish they had samples of each with just one of two diapers in each sample. That way, we could try them out and see which one works. Maybe there are samples out there...idk...we didn't find them in Wal-Mart.
After checking out Wal-Mart's strollers and car seats (and being thoroughly unimpressed), we decided to take our shopping to the Internet. Reading reviews, checking out prices, and durability became Ted's biggest aim. He researched for hours. Originally, we thought about purchasing a Jeep stroller with the three wheels for better stability and mobility. Adam bought Morgan one, and she loves it, so we thought it would be good. But, it had mixed reviews.
After reading about a hundred different comments, we decided to check out the BOB strollers. If any of you are familiar with BOB products, there is huge sticker shock. We about lost it when we saw a stroller for five hundred dollars compared to the hundred to two hundred dollar ones we'd been looking at. We decided to watch the promotional videos on BOB strollers, to see what made them so special, and pricey.
After the first one, we were getting a little more open-minded. By the second or third, I was sold. By the fourth, Ted decided to research BOB as his new stroller of choice. All I can say is, wow! Their reviews were awesome! We were so impressed by what people had said that we kept reading and researching. I even got onto BabyCenter (my pregnant bible), and saw what they recommended. BOB strollers was one of the highest ranking for all areas. So, Ted, being the incredible husband he is, and wanting to get the best for his wife and baby, purchased a BOB stroller in burnt orange, along with one of the highest ranking car seats of Chicco (also in burnt orange) to go with it. A little surprise was, he got a DadGear bag in burnt orange to match the car seat and stroller for when he has the little guy. Too cute!
Once that purchase was finalized, we went onto nursery sets. Overstock.com has awesome deals, and we found the cutest farm one that matches our decor perfectly. With that purchase finished, all we had was a diaper bag for me.
Now, I don't know about anyone else, but for me, I think of a diaper bag as my new purse, and I would like it to be a fashion forward as well as practical. I had seen tons of cute diaper bags from working at DownEast, but couldn't remember the name of my favorite. Thanks to my friend Jacqueline, who worked with me at DownEast and has impeccable taste, I found out the name of the company whose diaper bags I loved the most. Petunia Pickle Bottom bags are adorable! So, I got online and started shopping. I loved every design and style, but ended up with one that looked like the most bang for the buck, and wasn't massive (as some diaper bags can be). Ted had an influence on the color, and it ended up being orange flowers with grey and white. It is super cute...I got it today in the mail, and am even more pleased with it in person.
All we are waiting for is the dresser (which is on back order), and the nursery set. Once the room is put together, I will post pictures. We already have the stroller and car seat put together (we got those yesterday). They look amazing. Yes, I have already tracked around the house a couple times trying out my expensive stroller, and I must say, it is worth every penny! It is sturdy, easy to use, maneuverable, and super easy to collapse. As everything gets here, I keep getting more and more excited for our little man to come into the world.
At twenty five weeks, I only have about a week before I got into the sixth month. I am so grateful and happy to have the opportunity to be a mom. And, even though going on a spending spree for baby things is super fun and exciting, I am most excited about having a precious spirit enter our lives. I feel so blessed to be trusted with one of Heavenly Father's children.
Last Friday, Ted and I went to the play, Saturday's Warriors, in Pocatello. We went in, not expecting a lot, but came away being impressed and blown away by the message and talent. It was wonderful to hear all about family, and every time the little girl in the show sang, "Who are these children coming down?" Ted would start crying. It was too cute! We are so excited to have a family, and can't wait to bring down many choice spirits into our home. We pray the Lord will bless us with several kids, not just one of two. Big families are hard to have in these times, but it would be an honor and blessing. We have so much love to share, and what better way than being a parent.
Well, I think I have purged myself. Of course, I could probably go on a lot longer, but these are just some of the things going on right now. I am so happy and very impressed that Ted was able to do as he said, and get everything ready for the baby by last weekend. He never ceases to amaze me.
I feel so loved and abundantly blessed by our Heavenly Father. He has truly given me more than I could ever imagine or wish for in life. I feel extremely blessed to have Ted as my husband, my partner, my best friend, and companion. I got so lucky to have him in my life. I know a lot of people tell him he is lucky to have me, but I think it is the other way around. I am so glad I was born into my family. I love my ancestors, grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, and all my nieces and nephews so much! They are all special to me. I am very blessed to have wonderful in-laws as well. I remember when I first got married, everyone would tell me horror stories about their in-laws (or out-laws). I have stories, but they are positive. I am very thankful for wonderful friends, who check on me regularly to make sure I am feeling okay, have everything I need, and just call to talk. All of you make life worth living.
Life can be as good or as miserable as you want it to be. It is all about perspective and seeing the positive, not the negative.
Yesterday, I was feeling a little down after breakfast. Ted was at class, and I had just woken up from a bad dream night. I decided that right then and there I needed to change my attitude. So, I went around the house and looked at all the things I have been blessed with. Thanks to Ted, our home is full of things to make our lives better. I got some paper and began to write why I was thankful for Ted and what he has done for me. The objects in our home became reminders of experiences, memories, or cherished treasures Ted and I had brought or done together. The paper turned into one or two thankful sentences per object in the home. I cut out the sentences and taped them to the objects. It became like a treasure hunt (or Easter egg hunt, since it is close to Easter). I moved from room to room, and in each room there became more things I was thankful for. All in all, I came up with seventy two pieces of paper, just inside our little home. We only have six rooms in our house, and I came up with that many! If I had more time (I was in a hurry to get them done before Ted got home), I would've come up with more. But, they were little things, such as:
Thank you for being such a good sport about me choosing the paint colors. I'm sure it had to be a little nerve-wrecking, considering all the crazy colors I chose last time. (Taped to the wall).
Thank you for the wonderful, inspiring quotes that lift me up! (Taped to a quote he'd made me from his vinyl plotter).
Thank you for keeping the sink and shower clean, and free of hair. (Taped to the bathroom sink).
Thank you for being a little crazy with me in life. I love your adventurous personality. (Taped to a picture of us on a sailboat ride).
Thank you for helping me take out the trash and keeping our house clean. (Taped to the trash can).
Thank you for encouraging me to do the things I love and enjoy. I love how you never hold me back. You are always lifting and encouraging me to do more. Thanks for helping me fulfill my potential. (Taped to a cow-cutting picture).
These are so simple, but when he came home and had his own treasure hunt for my thankful words, each one meant a thousand times more than I anticipated. By the time he was done, he had tears in his eyes and said, "You really do love me, don't you?" Sometimes we think that each other knows how much we love them, but it never hurts to let the other person know. I mean, we tell each other several times a day how much we love the other person, and we show it too, by kind acts of service, spending time together, hugs and kisses, and gifts, but sometimes words are more powerful than all those things combined.
Well, I've said too much. It is time for me to get ready for a meeting. Hope everyone has had a great day, and if you've made it this far, you're amazing! I would've stopped reading a long time ago. Ha ha. Love you all!
:)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Marriage is for Losers
25 Weeks Today!!!
Marriage Is For Losers
March 2, 2012 by drkellyflanagan
You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.
Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.
When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first kind of marriage, both spouses are competing to win, and it’s a duel to the death. Husbands and wives are armed with a vast arsenal, ranging from fists, to words, to silence. These are the marriages that destroy. Spouses destroy each other, and, in the process, they destroy the peace of their children. In fact, the destruction is so complete that research tells us it is better for children to have divorced parents than warring parents. These marriages account for most of the fifty percent of marriages that fail, and then some. The second kind of marriage is ripe with winning and losing, but the roles are set, and the loser is always the same spouse. These are the truly abusive marriages, the ones in which one spouse dominates, the other submits, and in the process, both husband and wife are stripped of their dignity. These are the marriages of addicts and enablers, tyrants and slaves, and they may be the saddest marriages of all.
But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other. These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.
And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.
Because we live in a culture in which losing is the enemy (except in Chicago, where Cubs fans have made it a way of life). We wake up to news stories about domestic disputes gone wrong. Really wrong. We go to workplaces where everyone is battling for the boss’s favor and the next promotion, or we stay at home where the battle for the Legos is just as fierce. Nightly, we watch the talking heads on the cable news networks, trying to win the battle of ideas, although sometimes they seem quite willing to settle for winning the battle of decibels. We fight to have the best stuff, in the best name brands, and when we finally look at each other at the end of the day, we fight, because we are trained to do nothing else. And, usually, we have been trained well. In the worst of cases, we grew up fighting for our very survival, both physically and emotionally. But even in the best of situations, we found ourselves trying to win the competition for our parents’ attention and approval, for our peers’ acceptance, and for the validating stamp of a world with one message: win. And, so, cultivating a marriage in which losing is the mutual norm becomes a radically counter-cultural act. To sit in the marital therapy room is to foment a rebellion.
What do the rebellious marriages look like? Lately, when my blood is bubbling, when I just know I’ve been misunderstood and neglected, and I’m ready to do just about anything to convince and win what I deserve, I try to remember a phone call we recently received from my son’s second grade teacher. She called us one day after school to tell us there had been an incident in gym class. After a fierce athletic competition, in which the prize was the privilege to leave the gym first, my son’s team had lost. The losers were standing by, grumbling and complaining about second-grade-versions of injustice, as the victors filed past. And that’s when my son started to clap. He clapped for the winners as they passed, with a big dopey grin on his face and a smile stretched from one ear of his heart to the other. His startled gym teacher quickly exhorted the rest of his team to follow suit. So, a bunch of second grade losers staged a rebellion, giving a rousing ovation for their victorious peers, and in doing so, embraced the fullness of what it can mean to be a loser. When I’m seething, I try to remember the heart of a boy, a heart that can lose graciously and reach out in affection to the victors.
In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.
Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick. Maybe we need to be formed in such a way that winning loses its glamour, that we can sacrifice the competition in favor of people. Maybe what we need, really, is to become a bunch of losers in a world that is being a torn apart by the competition to win. If we did that, maybe we’d be able to sleep a little easier at night, look our loved ones in the eyes, forgive and forget, and clap for the people around us.
I think that in a marriage of losers, a synergy happens and all of life can explode into a kind of rebellion that is brighter than the sun. The really good rebellions, the ones that last and make the world a better place, they are like that, aren’t they? They heal, they restore. They are big, and they shine like the sun. And, like the sun, their gravitational pull is almost irresistible.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Just Another Photo of My Belly Post
We got the big halfway baby ultrasound and everything is looking good. Our little guy is growing like he's supposed to. In the last photo, he has his tongue sticking out at us. It is hilarious. It looks like we are going to have our hands full once he gets here. Ha ha. I am sooo excited!
Yesterday we went down to our niece, Conley Davis's baptism in Utah. It was an incredible baptism. Very spiritual. She is such a sweet little angel. I have loved her since the day I met her. She is a little cowgirl, so I might be a little biased. But, she deserves every ounce of love, because she is such a sweetheart. My favorite part was the confirmation. There were about ten men in the circle as they blessed her, and the priesthood power overflowed the room. It was like the heavens were thundering with power. It was awesome! :)
We went to Ogden after the baptism, and Ted and his brothers, Jacob and Zach, rode on the Flow Rider. It was tons of fun to watch. I got really lucky, and my friend Miriam came and joined us. It is always so refreshing spending time with friends. I am very thankful I have such amazing, inspiring friends in my life. Miriam brought her two boys, Adney and Cammon. They are so adorable! I just love them! I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)