The white flakes fall like snow.

http://kayleewrites.blogspot.com/2015/12/you-look-outside-ah-its-snowing-but.html?m=1
The white flakes fall like snow. They don't melt when they hit the ground. It's June and eighty degrees outside. They should melt. But they simply fall, then stay. I reach down and touch one. It sticks to my pointer finger, like snow would, but it's not cold. It looks like sugar. I wonder if it tastes like sugar too. I open my mouth to take a lick, but my phone rings.
The caller ID reads my boyfriend, Lewie. I hurry to pick it up, dusting the white stuff off my finger in the process.
"Hey baby, how are you?"
"Been better. There is a bunch of crap falling from the sky. It keeps sticking to my windshield and I can't get it off, even when I use the wipers. Everyone is having the same problem, and traffic is backed up all over. I don't know how I'm going to make it home. I can't even get out of the parking lot."
"Can't you walk?" I ask. His apartment is a block from mine, which puts him about 15 blocks from work.
"Not if I want to live. I hear this stuff falling from the sky is toxic waste. Who knows what will happen if it touches you.".... (Click on link to finish story)

Return from the Dead (Almost)

I am finally writing again. I'm taking baby steps...One of my very dear friends, who is also an author and editor, started texting me the other day about how my work is coming along. Of course, with a 3 year old boy, who is the most adorable and active little guy I know, I stay too busy to sit down and get in the writing zone. So, it's non existent. My friend, Jewel, understands. She has a 4 year old little boy, and just had a baby girl in July. So, our circumstances are very similar. But, as we were texting, we decided the reason behind our lack of writing wasn't desire, but motivation. We decided in order to have motivation, we needed someone to hold us accountable. Jewel is amazing, and very creative, so she suggested we do a prompt every day to help us get the creative juices flowing. Our writings don't have to be long or in any genre. They just need to be written. So, for the last 3 days, we've been writing and emailing our work back and forth. As such, I have a couple new essays I'd like to share. So, if you're bored and need something to do...head on over to the link that takes you to Kaylee's Writing Life. I am posting the essays. I'd love to have people weigh in and tell me what you think. Or just read and hopefully it will brighten your day. Thanks! Love you all!

Dang Good Wives

I was at dinner tonight with some amazing ladies, all whom I look up to and cherish as friends. As our conversation went, we talked about life, school, kids, jobs, etc, etc. By the end of the night, a few of us were chatting about our husbands, how different they are, yet how much we love them and feel blessed to have found our special someone. It was such a sweet conversation...and as most of you know, well, Ted is perfect. He is! I mean, I don't expect him to be perfect, but he is. PERFECT FOR ME. And that's what makes him perfect.
Now, I'm not saying he can do no wrong, and that there are times when we really don't see eye to eye, but that's the beauty of it. He has opened a whole new world to me, one I couldn't have seen without his eyes. And I had to be willing to open my eyes. He's shown me that the road home doesn't always have to be the same. We can turn down a different street, and who knows, it might just turn out to be even better, or more beautiful.
Wow...really just went off on a tangent...back to my dang good wife thing...
Well, as we were talking, I said, "I'm a dang good wife". And I am!
It's funny, because I saw the women who heard me tense their muscles...like, "Oh, no, she's crazy." Or, "Umm...who says that?" Or, "What?"
One of my friends spoke up and agreed with me. She said, "You're right. You are a good wife. You cook, you clean.." And she listed a few things, which I do, but as I was nodding along with her, she said she's not the best wife, because she doesn't cook, because she doesn't feel like she's a good cook, and at that moment, I felt something shift inside me. Because I saw myself in her. I remember when I didn't cook, and felt like I was falling short, because I wasn't fulfilling my "expected" list of wifely duties that we all have for ourselves. They are probably all different, depending on background, culture, and family circumstance, but we have them!
And that got me thinking...not always a good thing...but I had to sit down and really ask myself, "Do those things that my friend listed make me a good wife? What makes other women think they aren't good wives? And why do I think I'm a good wife now? What changed?"
My answer to the first question was: Yes and No. Just because I cook, clean, do laundry, does not make me a good wife. It helps, and makes life run smoother for our family, and since my love language is acts of service, it really works for me, but it isn't the list of things that make me a good wife. I mean, any person can do those things. It's just a list. But, what really makes the difference?
Love. Love is what makes the difference. Doing those things out of love. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
I see myself as a dang good wife because, I love my husband, and I treat him, our family, our house, and all we have accordingly. I love him! I love him so much! And because I love him,  I see him as perfect. I don't criticize the things he doesn't do, that I wish he would. I praise the things he does do. And a beautiful thing happens: he becomes a better person, and wants to step up and be the best husband and father he can be. That's how it works. The formula is super simple. The answer is clear. Just love each other unconditionally. With Christ like love.
And the thing that stunned me is: my friends are amazing wives and they just don't see it! I see that they love their husbands. They cherish them. I mean, we were just talking about how blessed we were with them in our lives! These women do so many things for their families. Kind, loving things. And that's what makes them: Dang Good Wives.
I wished I could explain these things in the moment, but my brain takes time to process. But I'm saying it now! I think we just need to give ourselves permission to accept the fact that we're good. We're doing well. Most people are doing the best they can with what they know or have been dealt in life.
Then another big epiphany happened...I realized that, as I put Christ and Heavenly Father first in my life, and live my life to make them happy, being happy is much easier. I'm able to feel love at a deeper level. See people around me with different eyes. Eyes that are softened by Christ's love. Instead of seeing flaws, I see the beautiful. And that's how God intended it to be.
If we all just took time to see the beautiful, life would be much more beautiful.
I challenge you to see the beautiful. Not only in yourself and your spouse, but your kids, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors, your teachers, your family, your co-workers, any and every one you associate with. And instead of holding back compliments, let the compliments flow. Tell someone they look nice today. Compliment them on a nice deed. Share love and it will light up your life.
Next time you're sitting down and thinking about all the things you haven't gotten done, just think of all the things you have done. And each of you have done something, because if you're alive, you've taken a breath, and that required effort. You did it! Pat yourself on the back. Love yourself!
Know that being a good person comes from how you treat yourself, others, and what you share with the world around you.
Look in the mirror and love your reflection. Open that mouth of yours and tell someone you love them. Pray to Heavenly Father and thank Him for everything, since He has given it all to you.  
Remember to see the good in the world, and that's what you'll become. Find joy in the little things, for life is made up of little things that culminate into our life story (which is a big thing).
Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect at these things. In fact, this is probably more for me than you...but I promise to work on the things I have written and I hope you do too. It will make our world a better place, and who doesn't want that? :)
Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: This is primarily for those who are married. If you're not, I still hope you'll take the simple principles and apply them to your life.

Sunday Night Misery

Here I am in bed...thinking about my day. It's been a good day. One that I look forward to every week. You see, on Sundays I get to attend church. And church is one of my favorite places to be. You see, I'm surrounded by people who, like me, are imperfect in their own ways, yet we seek perfection and redemption through Christ. It's a common place where we seek to edify our lives and make a firmer commitment to be like our Savior. It's also a place of worship and thanksgiving. A place to lay down our fears, sins, pains, sorrows, and loneliness. A place to find peace, acceptance, and happiness. Now you know why I love Sundays and attending church.
I have many friends that attend the same church as me, and several that don't. I love the diversity in my friends, and find that each one of them have gifts and talents unique to them. They bless my life in several untold ways. They fill my life with joy and comradery. I pray that I can be as much of a blessing in their lives as they are in mine.
The friends who attend the same church meetings as me can attest to what I'm about to say. I have a tendency to speak before I think things through. My mouth is spurting out words and my mind is rusing to catch up. In other words, my mouth is as fast as the rabbit, and my mind as slow as the turtle. Eventually my mind catches up and redeems itself, but it's usually hours after the fact or even days.
It's like I tell people, I'm not funny. I like funny people, and I love to laugh, but I'm not the one to crack the joke. That's why I married Ted. He's my humor in every way. He'll crack a joke and I immediately laugh because I know it's funny, but it usually takes me a good 10 seconds or more to catch up. That's when the real laughter sets in. It's cute because then he thinks he's extra funny. And he is. :)
But back to my rabbit mouth and turtle brain...so as I'm laying in bed thinking, all my comments from the day come back to me. It's my one day that I'm surrounded by people, so every comment I make is heard. In Sunday school,  I go to the most basic class. I feel like simplicity is my level of learning. If it's too complicated, it goes right over my head. So, we're encouraged to share experiences or any impression we have. And I am always impressed (We have amazing lessons). So my hand is raised, I'm called on, and my mouth is going before I even know what's going on. It happens every Sunday. When I get home, I'm too busy being mom again to worry about my comments. But when I lay down for bed and have a few minutes of silence, my mind replays my words. It's kinda like a horror movie in slow motion, and I'm the star. I slaughter my words, I say things that don't make sense, and worst of all, I cry...a lot. Mostly from other people's amazing insight. But at night, tears fill my eyes from the embarrassing show I've given. That's the exact reason I stick to my written talk when I have to speak during sacrament meeting. Because when I write things, it makes my words slow down to a speed that my brain can keep up with. And I can reread. And edit. Gotta love the delete key. I use it often.
So tonight, I'm laying in bed, reviewing my words and I cringe. But then, I get a text from an amazing and incredibly inspired friend. She's apologizing about her comments in class today. I'm shocked! They were so good that I cried (literally). They were so well placed and spoken that some of them were even in the lesson (without her knowing). That's how awesome and inspired she is. And that got my old turtle brain grinding it's gears. If she thinks her comments are bad, does that mean that maybe mine aren't so bad? And if that's the case, the how many other people feel the same way as us? How many people hold back their thoughts? Thoughts that need to be shared. I love to listen to other people share their lives and experiences. I love listening better than talking,  because I learn so much more. When I talk, I only hear what I already know. But when I listen, I learn something new. I love it!!! So, my whole point to my endless rambling is, please, if you are one of those who don't share, please start. If you think nobody listens or wants to hear what you have to say, you're probably wrong. Because I always want to know what people have to say. I want to know what inspires them. Because that inspires me. And, if you do share and worry about what you've said (I put myself in this category), then don't wait another minute worrying.  Someone needed to hear what you had to say. So, speak up. Share your story. Your experiences. Your life. It will open a whole new world of friendships and comradery.