God's Love is Tangible

I'm not sure why, but I feel like I need to write. Maybe it's my way of healing or therapy or whatever...who knows. But my heart is so full. I feel that, as I've gone through struggles and trials in my life, The Lord has left the door open for me to choose whether I let Him in or shut Him out. He lets me decide if I will harden my heart and resist His comfort or open my soul and receive His love. The latest trial of my miscarriage has been the second hardest thing I've been through in my life, next to my dad's death. I know miscarriages happen a lot, to many people, and I feel like they usually go unnoticed or unspoken about because people are afraid to say something that might hurt the person more, or they're not sure how to handle the situation themselves, so they stay away from the subject all together. I understand that most suffering is quiet, and felt most in the moments when least expected. For me, I hide away to deal with my emotions on my own, processing them through thoughts and prayer. One thing I've learned through this experience is that, it's okay to feel loss and sadness. It's okay to reach out to God for help and comfort. The Lord will bless us with peace and comfort, and He places special earthly friends and family around us to help us. I've seen His words and love through so many people who barely know me. Friends from the ward, Medora community, and random nurses at the hospital. It's been hard being away from family during this time, but God has made sure we've been surrounded by His compassion through the people in our lives. I've learned that it's okay to share trials with others. That suffering in silence can be worse than having someone to put an arm around you and let you know it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel. It's okay to be human. It's okay to be real. It's okay. So many times God will fulfill His work with the people around us who listen and heed His promptings. I feel so blessed to be in a community and area where people's hearts are open and softened. The love we've felt has been more than we ever imagined. Whether it's a phone call from my sister in law, a text from Ted's work associates, a Facebook message from friends, or a visit from neighbors, the Lord's hand is evident. My heart is fully open to the love, thoughts, and prayers of each of you. Thank you for being the Lord's hands. Nothing is an accident. We know this trial we are passing through will soften with time. I rejoice in the opportunity and blessing I had to carry a child of God, even for a short time. I'll miss the earthly life we could've had together, and pray that I'll be able to live up to the standard Christ has set so I can someday meet and rejoice with this precious spirit I never met on earth. I pray that everyone who goes through similar trials won't hide in their own fear or guilt or embarrassment. Life is to be celebrated, whether in this life or the next. I know it's taboo to announce pregnancy before the first trimester, because miscarriage is common, but I also feel every life is precious, and even if it's drawn short, it's good to share and rejoice in the happiness of a new child, even if it's taken back home before it arrives. It gives people the opportunity to lift one another up and feel the Christ-like love towards those who endure the trial of miscarriage. I really hope that in the future, our society will be more open with announcing a new life,as soon as they feel comfortable. And if that life is given back, I hope people will circle around them, buoying them up as we have been. In the end, I have no regrets. We celebrated the life of a child while it was here. And now we'll mourn the loss and feel the love of our Savior. The biggest thing that gives me comfort is knowing that He's endured my loss, my pain, my emptiness. His empathy and grace is real. He knows. And with that knowledge, I'm lifted up in His endless compassion and love, to overcome a trial nobody wants to endure. My heart is filled with empathy for those who've shared their experiences with me, and those who silently bear them may The Lord bless each one of you, and may your hearts be open to His endless love.

Expect the Unexpected

I thought the next update would be in a month...but it turns out I have to do an early update. As I said in my last blog post, I hated announcing my pregnancy so early, but I was just laying all my stresses down on the page. Well, the update is that I just miscarried the baby. So, we're no longer expecting. We're still kinda in shock from it all, but I'm sure we will be okay. We just feel like we have one child that's already made it to heaven. I'm sure we'll still have hard days, but hoping we can make it through with that knowledge. :)

Step by step

Okay, so this is just going to be a huge stress unloading post. If you already have enough stress in your life, feel free to stop reading. I'm sure everyone has enough of their own stress, so nobody should be reading this except for me and maybe Ted. Wow...okay...I don't even know where to start. We have been extremely busy trying to figure out what's going to work for us in North Dakota. Because let's be honest, $50,000 a year salary is really nice in Idaho, but in ND, it just doesn't cut it. Rent takes half our monthly paycheck, and even with good budgeting, unexpected things still come up that need paying for. Job hunting. It feels like we've been in this endless cycle a million times and yet we've found ourselves here once again. To our relief, the bishop in our ward lined us up with the manager of the new oil refinery that's being built in Dickinson. Ted stopped by to meet him and they basically hired him on the spot for safety. It's a huge blessing because it pays double what his last job paid, and it will be more than enough for our bills, so we can put away money in savings and help other people out in need! Yea!!! Thank heavens for the inspiration of a bishop to help us out. We never would've expected or thought of this job as an option, but it's perfect.
Another thing that's going on is, we're in the process of purchasing a house in Dickinson. Talk about stressful, especially in an elevated market. When we bought our first home in Arizona, we paid cash for it. This time we're having to get financing. And, our home in AZ was our dream home and brand new. So, buying a home in ND for more than we spent in AZ and having it be 50 years old is a little more stressful than our last situation. Granted, the home is in very good condition and location, and if we decided to sell in a few years we could easily get more out of it than we paid for it. But, we'll see where The Lord directs us before we make any major decisions. :)
Lastly, I hate to post about this already because I feel like it is still early, but we're also expecting another baby. I'm only 10 weeks along, and I've only had one doctor visit, so things are still quite new, but that's another (probably the biggest) stress we have in our lives right now. There are just so many things happening and changes all over the place. I just can't wait until we've gotten everything settled down again. I need the less stress. I think Ted does too, but he seems to handle the stress better than I do. I admire him for that. He actually jokes about the fact that I've gotten pregnant as soon as I moved out to ND. The last 2 big moves away from Idaho have produced children. Guess we work better under stress. ;) With baby #2 on the way, I'm going through a huge nesting stage. I just want to be in our house. NOW. I know this next month will go by quickly and we will be in the house before Thanksgiving (hopefully). It'll be way nice to get our stuff out of the old wooden barn where it is stored right now too. I went to check on our things the other day and there was mice poop all over our sofas and probably everything else (I didn't take the time to look at all our stuff because it would just make me more stressed).
With all this stress, there's a thousand more things I need to write about. I'm so very thankful for ND and the people who live here. We've been blessed to meet many wonderful, humble, and hardworking people. This place has definitely made me a better person. I'm thankful for everything I have been blessed with (especially a loving husband who did everything possible to get me and Hesston up here). I have such a supportive and loving family who's supported us in our many different travels that have taught and brought us to where we are now. We have dear friends, whether new or old, who've thrown themselves into helping us on our journeys. We're more abundantly blessed than I thought could've been possible. And, we're adding another person in our family who gets to enjoy all the people who surround and bless our lives. So, a huge thank you to everyone. You've been there for us countless times and we are glad to have people like you in our lives. Just as the bishop followed an inspiration to call us and change our lives for the better, so have so many of you eternally changed our lives for good. Love you all! I'll probably give another update in a month or so when we move into our house and have another baby appointment. Loves to you all.
I took a job with Dakota Prairie Refinery http://dprefining.com/home as the safety man!! Exciting stuff.  Should be able to put away some great savings.

Dakota Prairie Refining is the first new refinery to be built in the U.S. in over 30 years. The plant is currently under construction.

Dakota Prairie will process locally available crude oil and produce high-quality diesel fuel. The remaining components of the crude oil will be shipped to other refineries for further processing or to other parties for their use. Construction began in March 2013 with completion expected by late 2014.

Since the plant will sit proudly on the prairie of western North Dakota, it made perfect sense to name it in honor of the land.

About the plant

Dakota Prairie Refining will process 20,000 barrels/day of Bakken crude oil (delivered principally by pipeline), producing:
1/3 high quality diesel fuel
1/3 naphtha
1/3 atmospheric bottoms (ATBs)
Naphtha and ATBs will be shipped by rail to other facilities for use or further processing
Approximately 300 barrels/day of natural gas liquids; will be trucked to nearby natural gas processing facility partially owned by WBI Energy
Located in Stark County; 375-acre site, four miles west of Dickinson, N.D. south of I-94
Site selected for proximity to critical infrastructure such as rail, highway, natural gas, electricity, water, sewer
Cost: Approximately $300 million

400 to 500 employees during peak construction; 90 when operating
Once in operation, plant operations employees will be working 12-hour shifts
Of the 90 employees, approximately 70 will work in operations, 10 in maintenance and 10 in administration
Facility will operate 24 hours/day, 7 days/week

Ted wanted me to post about his new job. :)

Past Month Activities

Family Pictures in Idaho

 Medora 5 k Walk/Run...Ted packed Hesston half way, and I packed him the other half. I kinda wish I would've packed him first, because it was all downhill. Packing him home was uphill, and I really got my workout. :)

 We like to go for day trips around Medora and the park. This trip ended up being 3 hours. We had no idea where we were most of the time, and ended up about 40 miles away from where we thought we'd end up. But, it was beautiful.

 This school house is literally in the middle of nowhere. It makes me wonder if there was a town around it a hundred or more years ago. I need to dive into some history books to find out.

 We went to Pennsylvania for a business trip with Ted. It was a blast!

 3 hour layover

 Williamsport, PA World of Little League Museum

 Oops...out of order picture. This is in Philly.

 We took a ton of walks around the park and had a blast playing on playgrounds with a bunch of other kids in Pennsylvania.

 Hesston's favorite part of the park. He loves to go down slides.

 We met up with Ted's Aunt Becky, and her husband, Tom, in Gettysburg. They have an amazing museum and bus tour.

 Bus tour of Gettysburg.

 Ted and Aunt Becky in Maryland, at Aunt Becky's house. It was so nice meeting Becky. I'd never met her or Tom before, because they live so far away. I knew of them, because they send the BEST Christmas/wedding/birthday presents...so it was great to finally meet them.

 Aunt Becky took an extra day off work and took us to a Butterfly Park. There were over 100,000 butterflies flying around. Hesston loved it.

 They had this really cool chair we had to take a picture with.

 Hesston discovered fallen leaves for the first time.

 We went for a walk around a magnificent flower garden. It's over 80 acres of gardens, and very kid friendly. Loved it.

 Yes, Hesston made it to the pond just as I grabbed him. Luckily he only got his shoe and pants wet. But the pond was deep, and I probably would've had to jump in after him to get him out. Glad I didn't have to.

 We took a bus tour around Philadelphia. It's our favorite way to see a place without having to spend a lot of time there. The tour covered everything we wanted to see, so it was great! Hesston got way tired, but didn't cry. He's such a trooper!

 Downtown Philly

 Look at how tired HD is.

 HD ready to board the flight back home. He did amazing with flying. He took 8 flights in 2 weeks, and did great! He loves to travel.

 Here are some photos of us back home in Medora. This is what we do for fun. Play with his big bouncy ball.

 Make a pile of leaves and then cover HD up.

 Swinging at the Wood Park in Medora.

 On cold days, we still bundle up and go outside to play.

 HD loves tires and never misses a chance of pushing around anything that has tires.

 The awesome wood park in Medora.

 This is a typical HD response to cell phones/I-pads/any technology. He loves it.

 On warm evenings, we go for stroller walks.

 I still need to teach HD about crossing a street safely. He goes plowing out into the middle of the road and I have to run to catch up. Good thing there's hardly any cars on the road we live on.

 We just love discovering the outside world.

 We've went to Bismark a couple times. Ted got a reconstructive surgery done on his nose. Now he can actually breathe out of his nose! It's great! This is the Bismark Temple.

 Hesston loves going to lunch with daddy. Luckily, Ted gets an hour lunch and it's buffet, so HD can tag along. If HD doesn't get to go to lunch, he's grump most of the afternoon, asking for dad.

 Lissa had her 18th birthday while she was out in ND. We celebrated by buying 18 balloons, taking pictures, going to The Mortal Instruments movie, and dinner. It was a blast!

 She's so gorgeous!

 Lissa loves sunflowers, and there are tons of fields full of sunflowers. So, we stopped and took some pics. This one is my fav!

Well, as you can see, we've been super busy and have had a ton of fun the last month or so. We also went to Utah in September to celebrate my Grandmother's 90th birthday. It was great seeing people from our Utah community. Some I hadn't seen in over 15 years.
Well, I will have to include another update a little sooner than later. It looks like we're going to be buying a house in Dickinson and moving into town within the next month or two. We also have some other exciting news, but we'll wait to share that until next post. Hope everyone is doing well! Miss you and hope you've had a great summer/fall!