Today is Saturday! Yeah! It is so cold and snowy, but we need the water! So, I have a dilemma...I have a friend getting married in less than one week. She is only 20 years old and is marrying a guy who is 23. They are both working at a fast food joint, and have no money for the wedding. He hasn't even bought her a ring, and is not helping pay for the wedding at all. They just recently moved in together, into his apartment. He has went to a semester of school and then dropped out. So, he is not interested in school, but wants to be a police officer in Los Angeles where he is from. He also wants to move there as soon as she gets done with hair school. He wants her to work down there in Cali and support him while he is getting ready to be a police officer. He is lazy and has deep rooted anger issues. He has turned her against her family, and has caused problem after problem between them. And she is just finishing up with hair school. She has rebelled against her parents to get married to this guy. And so she is only inviting her mom and dad (because she has to), and her grandma and grandpa to the wedding. He is inviting his whole family and friends. She said to her family that she couldn't invite any more family or friends because she has no money to pay for the wedding, let alone a reception. She is not inviting any friends or anyone else to this wedding, because of lack of money. She is borrowing a dress, and barely able to afford a cake. They are getting married in a church, so luckily no money needed for that. I feel extremely sad for her because she is not going to have a wedding like she should have or like every woman should have. Her parents have offered to help pay for the wedding, but she refuses them and won't even talk to them. This is a really sad situation and I am afraid of it not working out in the end.
What can I do to help her? I pretty much invited myself to the wedding, because she didn't really want to invite me, but I feel like I need to be there to give her support. Yet, I am not happy about the marriage.
I am afraid to talk to her about getting married because I am afraid it will ruin our friendship if I tell her not to get married to this guy. So, what do I do? Just go and put on a happy smile and act like I am happy for her? OR try to call her and talk to her about things NOW before they get any farther along? Another hard thing is, when I call her she is always at work or school or too busy to talk. I can barely get a text message from her. I feel terrible and my heart is breaking because I am worried about her. Pray hard for me to know what I need to do, because I feel like it is up to me to try to help her and I don't know how or what to say to her.
2 comments:
I can feel your heartache!
What a good friend you are to care.
Maybe you should consider writing her a letter. If he has turned her against her family, it probably wouldn't take much to turn her against you also. She is just not in a place to listen, but if you approach her with prayer and following the promptings of the Spirit, He will guide you to say the words that could touch her heart. Make sure she knows you are there for her no matter what, even if she chooses to procede, because she will need a bridge to her past if she chooses to return someday. Good luck. love, Charity
You are such a good friend Kaylee. But sometimes, if you are true friends, it is appropriate to voice your concerns. Knowing you, if you do decide to talk to her about it you will be gracious and kind and understanding while still getting your point across. And maybe she will listen to you. But if not, it is her decision and some people just have to learn the hard way. Good luck! I love you!
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